Spotlight: Boy Wonder

It's been 4 whole months (actually, almost 5 now) since Boy Wonder was brought into our lives. Here he is now:

It is getting much harder to take these monthly poses since he is moving all over the place now. Boy Wonder is active....crazy active, it reminds me of Dude and he is just a fiery ball of energy....and we think Boy Wonder is even more active....yikes.

His smile will make you melt

He seems to be pretty laid back. I'm not sure if that's just his nature, or a 4th child syndrome and he has no choice but to wait or go-with-the-flow most of the time. Daddy was just saying tonight, "he is quieter then the others were", give it time Daddy, give it time. He will soon realize how to be heard.

Boy Wonder, like Linebacker, is a thumb sucker

It is a great tool for self-soothing, but I hear breaking the habit will be tough....for now though, I find it cute.

He sleeps through the night (so far, still waiting on the 4 month sleep regression that kicked my butt last time) and wakes up smiling almost every morning. He is starting to form some napping habits but we just go with whatever works that day.

He is adored by his siblings, here with Dude

They love making him smile and giggle. They make faces, jump around and laugh at him just to get a reaction from him. Linebacker (my blanket lover) is constantly getting a blanket for him and making sure he has one at all times.

I couldn't imagine life without this little man in it. He just lights up my heart and is such a delight. I am so glad he clung on and survived that scare (read about it here) and was able to join our family. I never knew how people could feel "done" having kids, it just seemed unfathomable. Now, I get it. Boy Wonder completes our family and I just love the dynamic our family has now.

I might be biased but.....isn't he just the cutest baby you've ever seen?

Spotlight: Strawberry

Today I'm going to focus on Strawberry.


Strawberry got her nickname due to her red hair. She is 3 1/2 years old, but seems much older. She is the 2nd child and only girl, sandwiched between a bunch of boys. She can play hard but is also very (read: VERY) sensitive.

She is a caretaker of her brothers, whether they like it or not. She is always filthy, always. She eats with her hands, despite numerous reminders to use utensils, she is usually covered in marker and can't even look outside without being covered in dirt. Yup, she's our princess! Daddy and I often joke that in the future, she'll have to be in a pretty serious relationship before they ever do any type of "food date" just to be certain the suitor doesn't scare off too easily.

She loves her Daddy, she is definitely his little girl. She hates bugs, like really hates, she has a full on anxiety attack over a fly near her. She can be clumsy, and something always "hurts". We were in the van the other night, and just for fun I said, "[Strawberry], what hurts right now?" Her response, "Nothing.....just my knee a little". She likes to count her booboos, and says, "here is one, if you look really really close, it is just a wittle one".

She has Daddy and her brothers wrapped around her little finger. They would do anything to protect her.

Strawberry with her Knights in shining armour.

She is a sweet little girl and will be starting homeschooling this fall, she is so excited to do her own school, not just busy work.

She has a desire to manage a home already, she enjoys observing and helping me with the Stewardships (chores) around the house and I am trying to remember to train her in these areas.

It will be fun to see who she grows into, we have no doubt she'll be pretty sassy, though. Must be the fiery red-head in her!



For His Glory!

Spotlight: Dude

I was thinking that I would write a little bit about each of my kids. Then I realized this would be a good exercise for me, personally, to think hard about each of my children and what makes them who they are. This could be fun!

Today, I am going to focus on Dude.

He is our first-born, like me. He is 5 years old. He is stubborn and strongwilled, er...like me. He is full of Energy. All. The. Time. He has always been incredibly active. He started walking at 8 1/2 months old and has never looked back. He has his own way of doing things and is passionate about it (read: strongwilled). He is compassionate and sweet.

He loves playing with his siblings and has a special relationship with each of them.

His little sister, Strawberry, looks up to him and wants to please him and do everything he does. They are the best of friends....until they disagree.


He is a protector to his younger brother, Linebacker. When we went out to a store last week, he took it upon himself to hold his hand and get him in and out of the store safely. It was such a sweet moment.


He is just getting to know his littlest brother, Boy Wonder. He enjoys spending time with him and loves to work smiles out of him by doing crazy dances and funny faces.


Dude can be very difficult to corale some days, but I was listening to Focus on the Family's radio show last week and it gave me hope that this Strong Will is going to be a positive thing one day. We just have to get there.

Dude is going to be working at a 1st grade level this fall, he has a love for learning that we hope to maintain and build on. He is very inquisitive right now and we are doing our best to satiate his need for knowledge. I can't wait to get to know who this little man is going to grow into!


For His Glory!

Friendship

I have really had a chance to reflect, lately, on what my idea of friendship is. It's funny how over the years that definition has changed so much.

We make our first friends as young children, they are usually from school or, in our case, church. We play with them when we are around each other, but they don't really have any influence on our lives. Then, when we are a few years older, we play together, have common interests and maybe make plans to get together outside of church/school, but they still don't have much influence on our lives.

Once we reach the teenage years this starts to change, our friendships start to have an emotional aspect involved. We can relate to our friends, we may imitate some of their characteristics and they definitely have an influence on us. This is when my friendships took a notable change, less real friendships with classmates and more true friendships with my youth group friends. I think this happened because of our similar beliefs, I didn't share similar beliefs with school friends but I did with my friends from Church. I think fellow Christian believers are very important to keep you accountable and to keep you on the right path. I am still friends with a lot of these teenage friends, but none from school.

My husband and I got married quite young (in today's society) at the age of 20. None of our friends were married, and most not even dating/courting someone. This had a huge impact on our friendships. We drifted apart from most of these friends, just because our goals and lives were different at this point. We found a new great group of friends from our church, the young married crowd. We made some real lasting friendships with them even though they were all 4-6 years older than us. That gap was bridged by the fact we were all trying to learn how to be someone's partner. We spent a lot of time with these friends, but then they all starting having children (and we couldn't yet). They were busy with they're families and their flexibilities changed. But some of our younger friends were now in serious relationships or getting married, so we, again, were able to find common ground with them.

Once we had children, though, life changed drastically! You don't have the time or flexibility to get together with people and even when you get a chance to chat, it is not without interruptions. We have recently rekindled friendships with some of our good friends from the young marrieds group, and I am so happy about that, they are great friends and I have really missed the closeness we used to have.

At this season in my life, getting together with friends is not easy. I can't just go out and meet them, it has to be after the kids are in bed, and honestly, I just want to put my pjs on and chill with my husband then. At this stage, friendship is a truly emotional relationship. I want to surround myself with the right people, I want to be influenced by the right people and I want to have the people around me who are there for the right reasons and who support me.

Two years ago, I joined a group for pregnant Canadian women who were all due in May 2011 (me with Linebacker). I had no idea at the time, but this would not be just a fun thing to check out once in awhile. These women became my friends, I have met about 1/2 of them in person but I *know* all of them. We have been through a lot together, these ladies supported me through the difficulties with Boy Wonder's pregnancy and kept me strong. We have all rallied together on more than 1 occasion to help a fellow mama out in a time of need. These women are amazing and I don't know what my life would be like without them (besides really dull).

In this group, though, is one person who is special. She is an amazing mama, an incredible friend and just such a Blessing. We have connected through this group and have a lot in common (and just enough not in common to keep it interesting). She truly is my Best Friend. We *talk* everyday, and we never run out of things to say. She is my go-to for everything and she always has sound advice and is always just there.

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and be understood
~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

It's interesting how when we were younger, friendship was about how much time you spend together and who you see often, but now that doesn't matter anymore. My Best Friend lives in another province, we have spent only 1 week together in person, yet we connect and are closer then any friend I have around me. Up until the last year I never understood what I was missing by not having a good friend, but once you have one, you can't imagine life without.

Though miles may lie between us
we are never far apart,
for friendship doesn't count miles
its measured by the heart.

Now, to just get her to move here ;) It is amazing how God gave us both babies due in the same month and year, just to bring us together, God's Will is so interesting to see at work.


This is so accurate, God is Good!
There are friends who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother ~ Proverbs 18:24


For His Glory!

Laundry, Dishes and Mopping....oh my!

I was one of those people who's house was spotless before having my children. I enjoyed cleaning, and my house was so clean I would have to make a mess on purpose or invent something just so I could clean it. Fast forward 6 years and I can barely keep up! My house is "clean" but keeping it "tidy" is a different story. I am constantly picking up toys, books, socks and pieces of food all over the house. I needed to come up with something to keep me on task or I would spend everyday doing this repetitive motion without ever getting to the real cleaning that needed to be done.

A couple of weeks ago there was an e-bundle that a group of homemaking bloggers put together and had on sale for a couple of days. As soon as it was advertised, I was sold. I wanted it! Well, the day came and it was available. The price was really good, but I hesitated for a few minutes....I had to resolve within myself that I couldn't just purchase and download and read this bundle, but that I would actually implement it. I decided that I was going to get more productive with my time, I had too, I was falling behind.

During the beginning of skimming this e-bundle, I also discovered an alternative to the Home Management Binder. This was exciting to me because I have tried more then once to start and use a Home Management Binder and it never worked for me. This new system was perfect for me! It is the File Crate System and I love it! I didn't set up the file folders exactly like she does, but fairly similar with what I wanted to include each week. I found enough free printables online to use and it was very easy to pull together. It works so well for my day-to-day cleaning and homemaking, but also will be very beneficial to our homeschooling scheduling. I am a list person, so this setup is exactly what I needed.

I am able to list what I want to accomplish each day, keep track of it all, have my weekly meal plan, weekly calendar and my weekly blogging schedule (that should keep me regular finally) all in one place. Aaaahhh, I feel functional again!

Housekeeping comes easy to me, I love it, so that is not a huge problem. My problem comes when I just bounce around doing a little bit here and there and not actually finishing anything. Now, though, I have a plan everyday and I make it my mission to check off those little boxes.

I have found the key for me is all about the laundry. I hate laundry! I mean, I do it because I have to, but I would prefer not to have to :) I have to stay on top of the laundry to be successful. I am not the person who can do it all in 1-2 days and be done. I have to do 1-2 loads everyday or I won't bother. I start the load as soon as I come downstairs in the morning, then fold while the kids are playing together. Once they are occupied at the table for lunch, I head upstairs and put it all away. I have tried other methods such as assigning each person a day and doing all their clothes on that day, but if we are not home on one of the days, I am behind and can't catch up easily. This way I just wash everyone's together and your clothes are back in your drawer 12-15 hours after wearing them.

It's funny, but the laundry sets my cleaning *mood* for the day. If I get the laundry done first thing, I just feel more productive. So, the key to it all......is laundry? really? I guess for me, it is.

Since downloading the Homemaking e-bundle I have cleaned and purged my entire kitchen, the junk closet, the downstairs bathroom and what will be our new Schoolroom (I'll share about that tomorrow). I feel good, there is no clutter on our main floor where we spend most of our time, and that takes a lot of the stress away.

A key to completeing these mundane tasks for me is this verse Colossians 3:23 - "Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people." (NLT) I keep this in my head all day and keep thinking it when I get frustrated with doing these tasks. I have a friend/mentor who actually has a white glove that she puts in her pocket whenever she has the wrong attitude as a way to remind herself of who she is serving. I may steal this idea from her, just so I keep remembering why I am doing this.

Well, have to get back to my list and check some more things off.....Colossians 3:23......Colossians 3:23.....Colossians 3:23

For His Glory!

Introducing.......

Introducing the newest member of our family.........

Boy Wonder!!!! Born mid-March 2 days before his due date. I have nicknamed him 'Boy Wonder' because he is here despite all the complications we went through getting him here....he is my little miracle! God is so good!

He is such a blessing to our family and everyone is madly in love with him. Going from 3 kids to 4 kids has been an easy adaptation so far. I was used to being outnumbered already and Daddy and I were already using a zone defense vs. a man-to-man.

We have a pretty good routine going already, and even though he doesn't nurse at the same times everyday, he does go to bed at 10pm and sleeps until 6am every night for the last 2 weeks. Now, I'm not getting my hopes up too much; linebacker slept through at 6 weeks also, but we hit the 4 month sleep regression HARD and he was up multiple times per night until about 14 months old. So, I am excited that Boy Wonder is sleeping through but am prepared for what may lie ahead.

Other little known facts about Boy Wonder:
- He is my first child with dark hair like me
- So far he is the tallest child, but is long and lean
- He likes to be held (always a good quality for a 4th child)
- He is the 4th child, and 3rd boy
- He likes to eat!
- He is the first child I've had who actually gets upset because of a dirty diaper
- He is my 2nd thumbsucker (the other one is Linebacker)


We are so pleased with the way God has provided for us and blessed us with 4 amazing children.

(in light of some recent tragic events in our area that center around the online world, I have chosen to give my kids nicknames instead of using their real names. Just trying to be as safe and as careful as I can).


For His Glory!

Help! I'm becoming a Me-mom

Today I read chapter 3 of the book Be the Mom. This chapter was titled "Me Mom Trap". By the end of the chapter, I had come to realize this is me! I am a Me mom. Hmm, that's not a good thing. Oh Boy, I have a lot to meditate on today. It first hit me when I read:

"When we moms stomp around the house and mutter words that include lots of 'I's, its time to recognize that the Me Mom trap has been sprung."

Yikes, I find myself doing this almost daily. "I have to do everything" and "I'm the only one who ever...." are part of my vocabulary. I need to consciously erase these phrases from my vocabulary. (I have a feeling I will be further convicted on these in tomorrow's Martyr Mom chapter...sigh).

When the kids don't pick up the toys when I ask (er, command) I start to elevate my voice and the longer it takes for them to "obey" in my opinion the more irritated I get with them. Until eventually after hours of tiptoeing through toys everywhere, I basically throw a mom tantrum. When a baby cries because they don't get what they want (fed, changed, etc) or a toddler whines because they don't get their way we tend to see this as negative behavioiur and work hard to correct it and don't tolerate this reaction. How am I being any different? A perspective I had never seen before.

I have a big problem with cleanliness, not that I don't clean but that I want things clean at all times. News Flash: young kids don't share this same view! Shocking! and it is taking me a long time to realize this. What's a few toys on the floor or hundreds it seems? I need to let go of my expectations for cleanliness. My house is clean (dirt free) but not necessarily tidy *gritting teeth* and that's okay. Eyster is right I am not raising robots,

"I am raising uniquely designed children who thrive best when they're encouraged in big ways"

Yesterday (before reading this) I let the kids fold the kitchen towels and face cloths while I was preparing dinner, this is a big step for me, they are usually rolled neatly and placed in the drawer, but I let go of that control and let them do the job! They did fantastic!

I need to encourage them more about the jobs they are completing rather than harping on the few things they missed.

Our children need to be encouraged. They are constantly learning, especially when you are homeschooling because you are intentionally looking for learning moments all the time. Children will learn how to do things through experience, and we need to make that a positive experience not just barking orders at them.

I am changing my attitude as of now. I usually spend a good portion of the day handing out commands and giving them things to fix or clean up. I need to go back and re-evaluate what the important lessons they are learning out of this are. I need to stop arguing over measly toys on the floor and decide to "pick my battles." Daddy and I actually use a different phrase when it comes to our parenting. We always talk about "What issues/behaviours/values are we going to die on." Are we going to have a stand off over eating their potatoes at dinner? No. It's not something worth dying on. When our 5 year old back talks and is dis-respectful? That we are willing to die on.

I really liked Eyster's words:

"it's important that our focus be on helping them improve in the task at hand, not getting things done our way."

This is truly convicting for me, I want everything put away in its place and with young kids, unless I do it, it doesn't work that way. They will put things away but not necessarily "straighten them up". Oh well. They will understand one day how to clean up themselves....right????

Our children:

"model behaviour they learn from us."

Ain't that the truth? I've seen that time and time again when I over hear the kids saying "I'm sick and tired" or "this is just ridiculous". I am on a mission to change! I can't do it alone, I know that. I need the strength from God to lose my perfection ideal and to let the kids be kids and do things a little different than I would. To help me with this I think I will be reciting these 2 verses in my head:

Colossians 3:21 - Fathers[Mothers, too], don't aggravate your children. If you do, they will become discouraged and quit trying.

Ephesians 6:4 - Don't make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord.

These instructions in Scripture should help me stay on track. I just have to catch myself whenever things "don't measure up" to my expectations.

Now, let me leave you with another Scripture to ponder:

Proverbs 14:1 - A wise woman builds her house; a foolish woman tears hers down with her own hands.

Lord, please help me to be a wise woman and mother and not allow me to tear down my own house.

For His Glory!

The Mom Trap - pt. 2

I have so far stuck to my plan and read chapter 2 of Tracey Lanter Eyster's Be The Mom. A few things stuck out to me today, a little more on the application side of being a mom.

"We are molding the future"

We really are, this is a huge responsibility. We are responsible for creating well-rounded, contributing members of society. We are responsible for bringing up our children in Christ and sharing the Gospel with them. We are their earliest influence when it comes to Christianity and we need to take that seriously. We need to be examples of what that means and we need to instill in them a love for God.

As moms we tend to get overwhelmed by the everyday (and never ending) tasks of laundry, housework, meal prep and clean up, helping the kids, cleaning up the kids, refereeing, correcting, and counseling our children. We get into a rut and feel that there has to be something better, something for us to look forward to. I am realizing it is all in our attitude. If I start out the day a bit cranky, than all of these things will seem so unimportant and mundane and I will get the feeling that I am just mom. If I can start my day in a good mood than these tasks feel completely different, I don't seem to mind them so much and actually feel more motivated to get everything done.

We have to let go of the mindset that society says:

"We are putting our real careers on hold".

Being a mom is not a sabbatical from our "real" careers. Being mom is my career now. I really found help in Eyster's words,

"Being a mom is not a less than choice, its not about what I'm not doing, but about what I am doing".

I have a very important role in my family, it is the reason my family functions, the reason there is cooked food on the table, the reason there are clean clothes in the drawer, the reason my children are taught school everyday, the reason the baby is not in a dirty diaper all day. I am caring for my children, my most precious commodities. I am making life easier for my husband, I am making it able that he can leave the home and go to work everyday then come home and be fed and well cared for. I have the most important career there is.

One thing in today's culture that really irritates me is the idea of "me time." I find this to be a truly selfish desire. Usually people are not content in what their life is and feel they are entitled to selfish time, where they need to only care about themselves. I find this terrible. I do think you need to have something that is a joy to you outside of your daily tasks, but not necessarily time to yourself all the time. Eyster, brought this thought into my head with her words,

"You haven't lost yourself; you've found who you were destined to be".

Why is being a mom not good enough for so many people? Why do they look down on us?

Later today I am going to work on "The Plan" suggested in this chapter:
1. "Mom Uniform" - wear what makes you look and feel good. Right now I am 8 months pregnant, nothing makes me look good, things are uncomfortable and tight, so right now sweatpants on days we stay home are my uniform, haha.
2. "Create a schedule with white space" - The white space is for unexpected things that come up. I think I need to do this, just so I know what I need to get done and so we stay on track better. The La-Dee-Da days are not working for keeping us on task lately.
3. "Eat Meals" - the idea being missing meals = hunger = grouchy. I will try to eat at a reasonable time, not just once I get everything else done.
4. "When kids nap do something to relax" - I do this! Yay me! I realized a couple months ago that I needed to use this time to refresh, instead of catching up on other chores. Actually, it was when all the issues with this pregnancy started and I had to sit whenever I got the opportunity. Thank you to a tremendous group of online friends I have, I have found a love for knitting! So, while kids nap I eat my lunch (I'll try to eat earlier now) and then knit. Ironically, most of my knitting is for my kids, though, haha.
5. "Physical Activity everyday" - never thought about this. We are pretty active but could stand to be more intentional about it. We can all get our silly's out.
6. "Smile and Giggle, create a home full of cheer" - we need to have more fun, on purpose.
7. "Quiet time for you with the kids" - This is something we've recently discovered on our own too. Everynight after dinner and piano practice, the kids assemble at the table for a bedtime snack and we do a Read Aloud together. It has really helped to wind down before bed instead of the running around and wrestling used to.

To conclude today's lessons (I have a lot to do later to implement these things) Eyster has drawn me to 2 Corinthians 4:1 - Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. God has given me 3 (almost 4) beautiful children and has given me the opportunity not only to stay home with them daily but also to homeschool them, I need not lose heart.


For His Glory!

The Mom Trap

I came across a book awhile ago, mentioned by a friend, I ordered it and it has sat on my shelf for a couple months now waiting. Recently, I have found myself struggling a little in the "just a mom", poor me role. I felt convicted to start reading this book. Instead of reading it through in a day or two, I've decided to really take my time and study this book each day. Every night during snack before bed I sit at the table with the kids and read a chapter from a book (we are reading the last chapter of The Magician's Nephew tonight). We only read 1 chapter a night because otherwise it is more than they can retain in one sitting. Hmmm, if I follow this with my kids, why shouldn't I follow the same logic when it comes to my own study? So, I've decided instead of simply reading Be The Mom I would actually study and meditate on it each day. I also found out there is a website that goes along with it so I will have to take a look here too. We'll see how easily I stay on task....

Today was Day 1. I read chapter 1: My Momlife Journey. I made notes on some of the things that impacted me while reading and I then went to scripture to give myself the scriptural basis I need to do these things. So, here are my notes/convictions that came out of Tracey Eyster's book, chapter 1.

"Parenting isn't for the faint of heart, because parents bear enormous responsibility for the life and future of their children." Oh man, really? Stink! I have a lot of responsibility outside of making meals, teaching school, laundry, bathing, changing diapers. I am impacting them daily. I need to hear this, especially when the everyday life seems so mundane. I really do have a purpose to serve, and it doesn't matter if I'm the only one who notices that. Well, off to Scripture I went (no offence, but I need to hear this straight from God, too.) Deuteronomy 6:5-7 says Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These Commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. That's heavy, atleast for me. I need to constantly be impressing the love of God onto my children. Convicted.

"The entire momlife journey is filled with moments of greatness and moments of great failure." Ain't this the truth? There are days when you really think you did something positive in your child's life. Then there are days when you are pretty sure you just yelled all day and constantly disciplined..... This is an area I need to work on. Realizing it is okay to fail some days, or atleast appear to fail, but then at the end of the day my 3 year old can recite an entire Bible verse we only introduced the day before, and it puts into perspective what is important.

"There is a reason motherhood is referred to as the hardest and most important job in the world." I don't think anyone would argue that it is the toughest job, but important? I know this, I have been told this many times, but as for actually feeling that when you haven't showered in 3 days, your kids disobey you at every turn, and no one likes dinner it is a little harder to accept. I just have to remember that I am doing God's work by being their mother and by staying home to care for them and teach them. Proverbs 22:6 says Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. We can't rely on others to teach our children these values and they are definitely not going to learn proper values in the "real world." I am in MY career as a Wife and Homemaker, and that it has value, despite what society will tell you. That is what makes it harder, in my opinion, the lack of respect and value placed on the stay-at-home-mom by society and even other mothers.

"I quit" thoughts. These do go through my head sometimes, actually a lot less than they should strangely. There have been days where I think it would be easier for me to send my kids to public school for 6+ hours a day and get "a break" from them, but in the end that would do more harm than good. It may seem appealing at times but it is not what Daddy and I want for our family and in our view it would be detrimental to our family unit. In the end, I could never send my kids away for the day (school or daycare), I just couldn't have someone else be an influence on my kids more than myself and Daddy. They need their mother home raising them and homeschooling them. These thoughts actually aren't too often because we have such strong convictions about it.

"Surely I was put on this earth for something more important than this!" Nope! There is nothing more important than being the mother of my children. Titus 2:4-5 says Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. My husband and my kids are my world, they are my career and they are the reason I was put on this earth. They are my ministry and my job is serving them.

In the end, I wouldn't have it any other way! I love them all more than they will ever know.

For His Glory!


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